Posted by: Sara S. | November 28, 2009

The good ol’ slip and slide

What I’m about to write will assuredly seem like a lousy attempt at rationalization. I promise you that it’s not. I have come to terms with my 4 days of lavish vacation eating, so there is no reason to talk about it any more than I already have.

Except to say this.

Because I only started cataloging my eating habits after the diet started, you had no idea just how much I love to glut myself on junk food. Although I told you I had a weakness for processed meats and anything dunked in a fryer—perhaps even a combination thereof—you had not come to terms with the magnitude of the weakness.

But you have now.

Let my Food Journal from this week demonstrate the degree to which I will unabashedly stuff my face with empty calories and fat and cholesterol if left to my own devices. I am like a little machine powered by apple pie and buttered movie popcorn, a machine that tends to get pretty full and pretty sleepy. The way I have been eating here in Florida is the way I was eating for a year: with no regard for my own health or nutritional needs. I didn’t care what I put in my body, as long as it tasted good and was accompanied by the euphoric feeling that comes from overindulgence. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank genetics for my absolutely ridiculous metabolism; I would be a porpoise without it.

So now you see. This is what life was like before the blog. My recent eating was not some reactionary binge, but rather a return to the status quo. It was easy to slide back into old routines because I had been at them for so long. The goal, eventually, is to get far enough away from old habits that I can’t imagine following such an unbalanced diet—unfortunately, ten days doesn’t seem to have been enough to make it a permanent chnage.

Maybe I’m making it sound a lot easier than it actually is. I wouldn’t know—at least not yet—but maybe not being a junk-food addict isn’t about arriving at some number of days of eating well, and is instead about always being vigilant. That temptation to say SCREW THIS will likely never go away; you just have to manage it. Oh yeah, and if I haven’t mentioned it before, you gotta be disciplined.

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