Posted by: Sara S. | December 21, 2009

This isn’t all rainbows & Wasa crackers

Allow me to reveal a truism: When I am eating poorly, I am a lot less likely to get on the blog and wax poetic about how much I love to eat broccoli and drink coconut water and work out. If I am stuffing my face with Chinese food and movie popcorn, as I’ve been doing for the past five days, I stay as far away from here as possible.

What am I hiding from?

Well, mostly I am hiding from that little page called Food Journal where I have to sit my ass down and count up the hundreds of calories that were in my bagel with cream cheese. It is less than fun to realize there were more calories in my Saturday-night entree than I have been consuming in entire days. Capisce?

Just because I write about my dieting perils doesn’t mean I am any different from other dieters. I experience shame when I fall off the wagon. I experience that sense of self-loathing when I go whole hog and order 2 bagel sandwiches for breakfast. All the the while knowing that it’s hard enough to lose weight restricting myself to 1200 calories a day, let alone 3000.

Needless to say, this past week was not the most successful. It started with too many dinners out, and ended with spending the night away from home and being without my blueberry smoothies (hence the bagels). In the past, I have never been able to screw up and then get back on the horse. This time around, however, I have managed to do it. But what I’ve still not managed to do is figure out how to indulge a little but not Santa-sized. On Thursday night, for example, we had pizza and beer at a party. Did I need 3 pieces of pizza and 4 beers? Hells NO. I don’t know when it’s going to kick in that I need to respect the boundaries I’ve set for myself, but someone needs to tell that little devil on my shoulder to cut it out—that egg roll is not calling anyone’s name, you little jerk!

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Responses

  1. was the ordering of 2 bagel sandwiches because you couldn’t decide which one you wanted more?

    • That is unclear. I would have ordered half of each, if that had been an option–but it wasn’t. Basically, I wanted both, didn’t feel like choosing one, ordered two. Excellent decision-making logic, no? At that rate, I will definitely be a fat bridesmaid. See you at the altar.


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